Tuesday, July 6, 2010

DC/Marvel Universe: Batman's Tweets

 These are real funny tweets than Batman might send!

Hey Pattinson, lessons on real brooding: 1. Comb your hair down, you look retarded. 2. Watch your parents get murdered. 3. Get a cape.
Hey iPhone developers. Can we get crackin on the "Solving Lame Riddles" app already? Thaaaaanks.
I believe in Harvey Dent. I believe he's a crappier villain than he was a D.A. And that's saying something.
Batman by Jim LeeWatch out criminal scum, I'm trying to kick caffeine again. And we all remembered what happened last time, don't we? DON'T WE!!!
Yeah, my parents are dead. What's that you were saying about hating Mondays?
You know what gives crime a concussion at 127 decibels? A Vuvuzela batarang. Sometimes bat-gadgets just invent themselves.
I brush my teeth with JUSTICE and floss with PAIN.
We'll miss you, Jack Bauer. If you ever come out of exile, I've got a pair of green ankle shoes and a yellow cape waiting.
I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I am mildly lactose intolerant.
One year ago today Michael Jackson died. In memory, I listened to "Thriller" while breaking a pedophile's legs. Rest in Peace, Jacko.
What do I call my iPhone? The BATiPhone? The iBatPhone? These are the things that keep me up at night. Well that and the face punching.
Memorial Day. Thinking about barbecuing on the beach. Alone. At night. Using nightvision. I'm awesome.
For the last time Alfred, they're NOT TIGHTS! They're DUAL DENSITY CARBON-FIBER LEGGINGS! And yes, please have them washed.

Finally destroyed Robin's iPod. It's impossible to brood when Justin Bieber is blasting in the upstairs guest room.


DC/Marvel Universe: Batman's Tweets
Enhanced by Zemanta

No comments:

Post a Comment